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Archive for November, 2008

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 26th, 2008
  • Wow — gas for $1.99 in California! I want to take this gas station and frame it. #
  • Today’s oxymoron is “Great seats for Celine Dion”. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 24th, 2008
  • Dear President-Elect Obama: Okay, I don’t care about that Hope and Change stuff, as long as you get rid of those pigfuckers at Treasury. #
  • I’ve received a lot of feedback on my last tweet, and I wanted to apologize… for leaving the Federal Reserve off my list of pigfuckers. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 20th, 2008
  • Through this device I hold in my hand, I can see all the world’s knowledge collected in one place… and, hopefully, found here on twitter. #
  • Memo to America: Just request a new, clean ballot, people. Cripes: http://tinyurl.com/6jvtou #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 19th, 2008
  • So Ted Stevens is all clear to attend jail, now that he is no longer required in the Senate. Thanks for clearing his calendar, Alaskans! #
  • Coolio. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 18th, 2008
  • @hoosiergirl Wait, they’re drug testing preschoolers now? Man, I know schools are competitive, but performance-enhancement in kindergarten? #
  • Dear Co-worker: When I use the phrase “buddy boy” in email, I of course mean “my esteemed colleague of many years”. Sorry for any confusion. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 17th, 2008
  • Handy tip for out-of-towners: When someone in Los Angeles tells you they’re in show business, ask them if it’s porn. Y’know… to clarify. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 16th, 2008
  • I hate to say it, but when the wildfires in Los Angeles kick up, the whole place smells like the most delicious outdoor smokehouse BBQ ever. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 6th, 2008
  • @siracusa You mean an *openly* gay president. Let’s remember we had Presidents that used cigarette holders. One was even an *actor*. #
  • @vmarinelli Joe the Plumber is using his tax cut to build a PLUMBING EMPIRE and when he achieves WORLD DOMINATION you will ALL BE SORRY! #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 5th, 2008
  • I have never been prouder of my country than I am right now.

    Well, okay, the invention of the Baconator was a close second. #

  • California, of course, is a disappointment. We had a chance to wrest the “Gayest State Ever” title from Massachusetts and we blew it. #

Twitter Updates du Jour

Posted in Whatever on November 2nd, 2008
  • Oh, MSNBC. It’s so cute how you still have little “Subscribe with your Zune” buttons on your television program podcasts. #